Fuzzy lines

Ed Sheeran toured South Africa last month.  TD and friends, being star struck fans, had booked tickets last July to see him live in Cape Town.  She (and Andrew) enjoyed the evening very much.  I mention this only because we had double booked the date.  TD was meant to see her (still wonderful) endocrinologist on the same evening as the concert. Dr M agreed that it would be more difficult for Ed to change his dates to suit TD, so she graciously rescheduled the appointment.

I find some doctors intimidating.  But Dr M is gentle, kind, compassionate and an intuitive listener (as well as being an expert in her field).  Despite this, sometimes my heart feels a bit heavy as we troop into her office.  TD's glucose numbers, as you will have gathered from recent posts, have been on the high side. Visits to the endocrinologist are about every three months, and the Hb1c test (that measures the average glucose levels over a three month period) is used as a benchmark of sorts as to how well the diabetes has been handled in between visits.  At the end of 2018, before the CGM, it was 7.5 - significantly higher than the golden standard of 5.6 to 6.6.  This time it had crept up to 7.9. To be honest I thought it would be higher, but this is still damagingly high.  There is no judgement regarding this number.  I know that. And yet....   And yet I feel I should have done more to help TD with the diabetes control.  Of course, the number is a tool to see how the sugars are being handled and to work out systems to achieve and maintain better control.

Tresiba Insulin pen

Dr M suggested we change the type of long acting insulin.  Not all insulins are made equal, and continuing research is providing better formulations of insulin.  The one the endo suggested is called Tresiba, and it is meant to be the most effective for steadying the glucose line.  It sounded  just like what TD needs.  It is also more tolerant of fuzzy times - it is given only once every 24 hours, and if that stretches to 27 hours that is fine too.

You know what this means!  TD, Andrew and I sat wide eyed and open- mouthed thinking about the possibility of sleeping later than the usual 5.45 am that has been our pattern these past 4 years.  Think of weekends and holidays!  Think of a morning lie in!

Of course, the main reason for changing is that it should help to stabilize TD's glucose numbers.  The roller coaster Ups and Downs impact her everyday life in a way that most people cannot comprehend. Here's hoping Tresiba is a great leveler.

Fuzzy clouds.....because why not!!

I called this post fuzzy lines because another thing our visits to the doctor emphasize is that, although it is definitely TD 's diabetes and her need to handle it, we, as her parents are partners with her in her health and happiness.  So the lines become fuzzy.  Diabetes is part of all our lives.  We have always tried, and continue to try, to give TD as much independence as is safe and as much privacy as is possible.  The boundaries between children and parents are sometimes rather blurry - we want to hold them close and let them fly all at the same time.  Those blurry lines contain so many pixels of infinity, so many shadows of experience.  And the squiggly shape of those fuzzy lines is a complete circle of  love.

I will let you know how the new insulin works.....after my Saturday lie-in.