Happy birthday TD!

TD had a good day yesterday.  She was beaming and bubbly and full of what I call TDness, or essence of TD!  It was her birthday, and her school friends had decorated her satchel with streamers and ribbons.  Some had hand drawn beautiful cards.  Others had written the kindest messages.  She felt celebrated and loved.

Her TDness rubs off on others too.  On occasions, complete strangers have stopped us in shopping centres, to comment on her happiness and joy.  Her grade 11 sports coach told her that she had “a big smile, lots of friends and diabetes” after her last training session yesterday.  (Her school has a collective sense of humour which helps make it the fine institution it is.)

She is now 15 – well ensconced in her teenage years.  She is a giddy mixture of old world wisdom, youthful optimism and age appropriate cynicism.  She does come unstuck at times.  Sometimes she is just too tired to give the world her TDness, and she needs time to gather her thoughts and rest. Like all of us.  She was so tired on Monday evening that, by mistake, she injected the wrong insulin at bedtime.  Luckily she noticed that she was injecting Apidra (quick acting insulin used to balance the carb ratio at meal times) instead of Lantus ( the basal injection which runs in the background with a slow steady stream of insulin).  This is the first mixup in three years, but it is a scary one.  If she had not noticed, and gone to sleep, she would have gone way too low and…. I don’t even want to think what may have happened.  It was easy to remedy in this case – a glass of sugary drink and a slice of wholewheat bread (quick and slow release carbs respectively) and a blood test every couple of hours or so, and all was well.

We celebrated her birthday at her choice of restaurant last evening, and wandered around the Waterfront, reminding ourselves how beautiful Cape Town is, and how lucky we are to live here.  As usual we missed our son and thought of him while we were celebrating.  He sent her the biggest bunch of beautiful flowers.(Pictured)

Time marches on.  Fifteen years ago TD was new to the family, a delightful bundle of gurgles and perfection.  Nothing much has changed – she is still that delightful - but bigger-

bundle of gurgles and perfection and I am so grateful to have the chance to mother both my children. I acknowledge them as the greatest life teachers anyone could hope for.

(I know "perfection" seems like a heavy label and responsibility.  I don't expect perfection from my children. It's not about what they do - rather about who they are.  They are perfect at being themselves.)

Happy birthday, TD.  Wishing you all the happiness you give to others reflected straight back at you. Put on those new sunglasses – that reflection will be quite dazzling.

Telling you how I am feeling

A few thoughts (not grand enough to be called Life Lessons!) I have learnt so far from Mothering Diabetes

1.                Never underestimate how well people can adapt to challenges  One minute TD couldn’t stand the sight of blood, and injections left her quaking in the corner.  The day after diagnosis, she learnt how to do all her own finger prick testing and to inject insulin into her stomach and legs several times a day.  We as parents learnt to cope with a range of fears and horrors that we would wish on no parent whatsoever.

2                  Going to  social occasions can be interesting.  People's reactions to TD"s pricking her finger and injecting insulin vary from the curious to the doubtful.  Kind friends have even offered to eat her chocolate, telling it was not good for her health.

3                   Give each other space to breathe and, at the same time, hold each one close. Trust is a way of life.  We need to be able to trust ourselves to be doing the best we can.  We trust TD to look after herself.  We trust the greater universe in TD’s safe keeping.

4                  You  will deal with challenges in a unique way.  Learn from others, but don't be scared to follow your own path. Everyone has different ways of dealing with difficult situations.  What works for one family dealing with a person with diabetes doesn’t necessarily work for another.  People react differently in crises, and that’s ok. 

5                Up until the teenage years, boundaries are more easily defined.  Children are often more compliant than teenagers, as is the usual path of life.  There's a fine line between independence for a teenager and responsible parenting. Independence is so important, but so is being safe. 

                 

6                Never sweat the small stuff.  Sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture and not worry about the occasional slip ups

7                  Going to sleep may become a challenge, but the quantity and quality of your sleep will determine how well you function in your waking hours.

8                 Let your body communicate with you, and listen!  Never underestimate the mind/ body connection.  We have the numbers to prove it. Stress, tiredness, excitement, apprehension all influence TD's glucose readings.

9                You can be spontaneous, as long as you plan it meticulously.  It's lovely just to get up and go, but remember to pack the insulin, the glucose meter, the emergency kit, extra carbs, a few needles and spare batteries....

 

10        Down  to earth is an excellent policy.  Being sensible with the diabetes management takes a lot of stress out of it all.  Be practical, avoid panics and stress, and the glucose graph will thank you.

So this is the part where I should tell how you how grateful I have been to have had the opportunity to learn these lessons through TD’s diabetes.  Absolutely not.  I am not and will never be grateful that TD has T1.  It is an appalling disease and I wish no-one had it. It didn’t happen “for a reason”  It isn’t "a gift”  It is not a “learning opportunity.” It is an illness.  Life lessons can be learnt in so many ways that don’t involve my daughter’s daily life and long term health. 

Sometimes the best life lesson is just to hang on to your sense of humour.   If you have read between the lines, and understand my quirkiness, please send me a smiley face!!