Introductions and Normality

Just to be clear:  TD stands for Teenage Daughter, NOT Teenager Diabetic.  I know this blog is about the joys and challenges of parenting a person with T1 diabetes, but it occurred to me that this gives such a small picture of our lives.  TD is so much more than a diabetic teenager.  Diabetes does not define her.  It limits her.  It hurts her.  But it is only a small part of who she is. And so, with her permission, I thought I would introduce you a little better.

Some things you will already know from previous posts - like how strong headed and certain of the way she wants things (OK - stubborn)  she can be at times.  You will also know she inspires others with her bravery, tenacity and resilience.

She is a quirky, creative being.  She finds happiness in drawing, in playing music ( she plays the piano and the double bass - nothing small about TD's ambitions or instruments!) and in writing.  She is passionate - about human rights, about gender issues, about freedoms.  She is funny, with an off beat sense of humour, and an excellent sense of comic timing.  She reads.  She loves cat images on  the internet.  She plays Settlers of Catan with the family using cunning strategy.  She likes history, and is good at maths. Most of all, she is a good friend - loyal and kind.

I started thinking about all this after reading a thread on the Tudiabetes website.  The thread was called "Can T1s have a truly normal life"  The two sides of the argument seemed to be :  Yes, diabetics are just the same as other people, and No, diabetes affects every part of daily living and you are doing a disservice to children telling them they are normal, as they aren't the same as everyone else.

I have strong feelings about this subject. There is no such thing as "normal."  Everyone has restrictions in their life.  Maybe someone is too tall to be a ballerina, or has a visual impairment so cannot be a pilot.  Some people are restricted by economics, some by low self esteem.  "Normal" is a veneer people put on top of character in order to blend in and feel acceptable.  It is, in my opinion, a mythical, unattainable and reductive goal.

 

Yes, TD now has restrictions.  She cannot eat carbs without injecting insulin, she cannot be a pilot, she needs to test her sugars many times a day,  and she probably will be too tall to be a professional ballerina.  Everyone adapts:  she will too. 

She can't make up her mind.  Maybe she will be an architect.  Or study political science.  Or write a book.  She is fourteen - lots of time for her to decide how she will use her talents in this world.

Until then, she will, like a lot of teenagers, keep tabs on all the cat memes on the internet.  Like all other teenagers, she will challenge her parents, and debate almost every decision.

And like most other teenagers, her room is a mess.