February 2021

It just happened to be Valentine Day two weeks ago when we decided we needed a day out.  Valentines day has always struck me as a celebration of the power of commercialism and going along with the flow mindlessly, rather than any romantic notions.   So, it wasn't a Valentine's picnic - it was just a much needed Smell-The Country- Air expedition.  I made egg mayo sandwiches and slapped some cheese and jam onto rolls, packed some flasks of hot water for the tea and coffee, made a few cupcakes and we were good to go. We picked up TD's significant other, and headed out to Betty's Bay.

We knew where we were headed - there is an botanical garden  with a very pleasantly priced indigenous plant shop, We have a few gaps in the garden and were scouting for hardy plants that can withstand our trial by error gardening method. It was a beautiful day - raining and windless - perfect for a hike up to a waterfall in the kloof.

The rain didn't last, and the walk was a meander up a river bed with shady trees and extrovert frogs.  It was a good day.

By contrast today is searingly hot - 37 degrees at 2pm, and my energy has evaporated. I can think of so many projects I could or should be doing, but it all seems too much effort.  TD has been back at school everyday since mid February, and we are settling back into routines and schedules. This has been good for her.  Glucose numbers react favourably to timetables and patterns, and TD has managed to get better control of the stubborn highs.

It is TDs final year of school.  Hard work, new challenges and leadership roles will accompany her on this year's journey.  Her official childhood is almost over, as she is about to leap off the cliff into the puddle of responsibility called adulthood.  But she will always be that magical person who talks to extrovert frogs on hikes to waterfalls.

 

 

Finding water

Water is a great restorer of balance. My rather whacky theory is that since we, as humans, are 60 per cent water in our body, the best remedy for relaxation is to float, listen and surround ourselves in that life sustaining  substance to balance the outer and inner environments.  So, being the mid year school break, TD and I went in search of the seaside. This is the second Mom/Daughter trip we have taken, and I regard these short breaks as a huge privilege, a time to relax and to catch up.  Above all else we just have fun.  Besides, Andrew had a business trip to Taiwan, and R is in the UK, so we wanted to explore a bit too. We didn't go far: Hermanus is about a two hour leisurely drive from home.

There was water aplenty!  Everyday we strolled down to the rocky water's edge and walked, or sat on  rocks, and talked and listened.  Mostly we sat and watched the waves roll in and listened to the power of the sea. It stills my thoughts.  TD loves the water as much as I do.   And her love of rocks is even greater.  She clambers over to cliff edges, hops from rock pool to rock pool, and I sit biting my tongue, wanting to yell, "Be careful! Not so far! Don't slip!"  She knows all that, and I need to trust her that she knows her abilities and limits.  She is ,after all, on the brink of adulthood.  More importantly, I don't want to project my fears onto her, and create an unnecessary caution.  When children are little and have not figured out what is safe and what is not, holding their hands while they explore is completely necessary. But TD knows what she is doing and is a competent adventurer. I felt a bit wistful watching my beautiful daughter contemplating life so far away, and also so proud that she was comfortable to do so, and that I am able to let her.

Our fears can be great teachers if we let them.  It shows our vulnerability, our hopes (what we fear losing), our coping mechanisms.  It is not always comfortable facing these fears, and like human teachers, some fears are approachable and we can befriend them, and others demand respect quite justifiably, and one should keep a distance.

I think fears surrounding T1 diabetes have

elements of both types of teachers.  While we were in Hermanus the food/insulin diary got a bit neglected.  This book has been completely in TD's control since January, and sitting on the rocks one day we chatted about whether it was still necessary.  TD suggested it has served its purpose and we can stop.  I think she is right, but some little niggle of fear creeps in that we may lose control if we have no record of insulin dosages and food and activities.  But, with the wisdom of youth, TD reminded me we can always start again if numbers go pear shaped.  That is a fear for me to befriend.

The fear I respect- and justifiably so- regarding diabetes, is its vicious unpredictability.  Testing every few hours is a non negotiable for me.  This is the other type of fear that keeps us safe.

Hermanus has many other excellent attractions apart from the sea.  We popped into art galleries, craft markets, coffee shops and some historical points of interest.  We indulged in Massages at the Serenity Spa. (A great idea if you are in the area!)  We had a walk and tea with a family friend who was mom's bridesmaid 60 years ago, and felt encircled with threads of history, creativity and compassion. We browsed the local bookshops and soaked up the musty, mindful atmosphere .We ate sandwiches. We bathed. We knitted.  We window shopped. We slept.  We laughed. We sang loudly.

This trip was not only time well spent,

 It also restored balance.

Of course we had tea

sunset contemplation

Road Trip

There has been a lot going on these past few months : TD was sick, her brother left home to study at Cambridge University, her Gran and Grandad have been unwell and the technology project for the term was to build and race a go kart. (And TD was the only member of the group with a working knowledge of hammers, screwdrivers and washers.)  We were all tired, and needed a change of scenery.

So, during the one week school break, the three of us went road tripping.  Andrew hauled out the big map, looked at which roads we had not yet coloured over in red pen (to signify we had already travelled on them) and plotted a route, exploring a few villages and towns close to Cape Town.
Packing was easy: Jeans, t-shirts, swimming costumes, walking shoes and some warm tops, cellphone chargers and an abundance of books.

And ice blocks, cooler bags, extra insulin, emergency glucogen kit, wholewheat bread and cheese for meal emergencies, extra testing strips, one ketone testing strip (well, you never know...) , quick acting glucose sachets, super c sweets, extra needles....  You know - all the usual stuff everyone takes on holiday.  At least everyone who is travelling with T1.

Diabetes takes no holidays.  It is not something we can relax about for a week (or a day) or just decide to take a break from.  It is a relentless disease, unforgiving of forgetfulness, dangerous to tune out.  Holidays or ordinary days, every morning we test TD at 6am, we wake at 2am if needed to check her sugars, we don't skip meals.  None of this bothers us in the slightest.  I suppose we no longer see diabetes as a disease, rather as a new way of life.

The road trip was lovely.  We stood on the beach at the southern most tip of Africa, we spent a whole day at the natural hot springs soaking up sun and catching up some reading.  We ate delicious foods.  We listened to all the latest trendy music (Thanks TD for the compilation!).  We recharged our batteries, missed our son, basked in the wonderfulness of our surroundings and made memories that will last forever.