"We called him Tortoise because he taught us."

 A promise is a promise - it's tortoise time.  One of our family rituals, is playing Hide and Seek with 5 of the 6 reptile members of our family.  Well, just Seek really.  They are incredibly good at "disappearing", sometimes only letting us find them after a few days.  I love how when they know they have been found, they simply stop, completely still, and retract their heads into their shells.  It's the "if I can't see you, you can't see me" defense mechanism that a lot of species, especially humans, employ.

This is Olaf

  Speedy keeping safe

So - some introductions:  Thadeus (who strictly speaking is a Thadea) grew up in Andrew's childhood household, and has been part of the family longer than I have.  She is a gentle soul, a bit of a leader, confident and comfortable in her own shell.  Speedy was rescued by my sister when he was so very tiny.  A dog had damaged his shell in several places and so he is more vulnerable and
exposed.  He hides a lot, and is skittish, and is only just now venturing further into his fynbos buffet garden.  Tolstoy - you have already met - and Olaf are the babies of the group, and heart meltingly gorgeous.  Tostoy is the tiniest, and the friendliest of them all.  Olaf is the best hider of the group. And then there are Bruin and Brown.  These two were rescued from a boutique hotel that was closing, and rehoused with us by American friends who were staying there and concerned for their well being.  Bruin is an easy going, get-on-with-everyone type.  Brown is not.  He is so aggressive that we have had to give him a separate patch of garden away from the others.  Every now and then we try to integrate him back into society, but his physical aggression is nasty, and he tries to hurt the others.  He hisses at us, and clearly had an unhappy childhoood.

TD once had to wear a tortoise for a week. Before technology had become so sophisticated and accessible- way back in 2017- TD's endocrinologist was worried that some hypoglycemic events (low glucose) were being missed and this could put TD's life in danger.  So she attached a "tortoise" to TD (her terminology, not ours).  This was a closed system Continuous Glucose Monitor, meaning it gathered and stored glucose information in the sensor, but was only read by the endo at the end of the trial period .  She could study the data, together with a food and activity diary, and give feedback.  These days, technology has moved so fast that the CGM gives immediate feedback, and TD can adjust her insulin accordingly. The 2017 device was called a tortoise because of it's shape.(and to make it less scary to children....)  And maybe because of the slowness of getting data.

I know tortoises are thought of as slow animals, but in my experience, if they want to, they can rumble over rough terrain at quite at pace.  Aesop's fable of the hare and the tortoise has the slow and determined tortoise plodding on to win over the overconfident faster competitor.  Consistent effort leads to winning the race is the supposed moral of the story.  But life isn't a race to be won, is it.  And we are not competing with anyone.  Diabetes has taught me that there are times to be slow and methodical, and there are times when speed is essential.  Yet again, it is all about balance and context, I suppose.

If you want a fix of gorgeousness, we can organise a Zoom meeting between you and a tortoise....although for most of the meeting you may just be staring at some fynbos, until a tortoise appears.  Trust me, it's not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

Thadeus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the Elves say

 

 2020 is being stubbornly relentless. No one knew how things would pan out when Covid 19 hit the world, and it has been a long, tough season of readjustment. Some people predicted it would come and go, and life would return to what it had been.  Others suspected it would be a long term, on-going change to our way of life.  Most people are just taking it in small chunks, because that makes it all manageable. I think it is the uncertainty that can be the most stressful - the social, economic and personal unsettling cause tensions to rise.

And just when you think you might be getting the hang of  whatever is going on, things change again, and new regulations are promulgated and safety precautions are suggested.

You know all this, because you are living through it. 

But everything I have written above is just what a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis feels like - stubbornly relentless, a huge readjustment, a hope it will go away, acceptance that this is for life, and managing it in small bites.  Covid 19 had a familiar feel to it for our household.

It takes time to adjust to living with a chronic illness, and just when you think you are getting a handle on it all, things change.  TD does an amazing job of navigating the course. 

Lock down has given people a chance to try new things, or catch up on some chores . I eventually made Banana Bread.  TD tidied her room.  It was like an archaeological dig in some places, and  she uncovered lost mementos and buried treasure.  This included two tubes of henna bought in Sedgefield many months ago.  I watched in fascination as she beautifully scripted some words on her wrist, in characters I could not decipher.  It was, apparently, Elvish, Tolkien's made up language from the Lord of the Rings. 

When she offered her calligraphy skills to decorate my wrist, I was delighted.  Here is what I chose to have hennaed on my wrist:

 

 

 

 

For those of you whose Elvish is a little rusty, it says Serenity and Courage.  I think those two concepts are helpful when dealing with everything that is thrown at us - the big and the little stuff, the permanent and the transient. Covid and diabetes.

Tolkien's writings are full of wisdom and advice.  One of TD's favourite quotes is "Not all those who wander are lost."  I love the idea of purposeful wandering, or even purposeless wandering.  It is calming and leads to creativity.

 The Tolkien quote most appropriate during a pandemic might be:

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

Live courageously, Find serenity. Decide wisely how you want to live. Wander aimlessly for a while....

 

Snow White and the 7 Diabetic Dwarfs

TD recently wrote a play about the damaged characters in the fairy tales that we tell our children:  Pinocchio the compulsive liar, Goldilocks with her sense of entitlement, Rumpelstiltskin who has anger management issues...and a few more.  It had a clever setting - a group therapy session - and a good take-home message:  should we still be telling very young children about these dubious characters, or should we rather affirm good morals of real life heroes?

She did not include Snow White as one of her characters, but I think the story deserves some of our attention.  How about Snow White and the Seven Diabetic Dwarfs.

They are, in no particular order:

Sleepy:  A character that needs no introduction to any one in this day and age.  Life is frantic, full of things to do, people to see, YouTube videos to watch... Who can honestly say they consistently get their recommended 8 hours of shut eye? People with T1, and their families, often get less sleep than most - blood sugars need to be tested during the night.  It is easier now that TD wears the CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor) because at 2am all I have to do is hold the sensor to her arm and check she is "in the zone" (see previous post), correct if low, ignore if a little high, and waddle back to bed to sleep a bit more.  Before the CGM days, TD had to wake up, prick her finger, do the blood test and then proceed with the next steps. CGM for the win!

Grumpy:  Following straight on from Sleepy, we have Grumpy.  It can be hard to function optimally on disturbed sleep, and grumpiness is often a by product of tiredness. 

Dopey:  This is another effect that Sleepy has on us. If it has been a long night, I sometimes walk round in a fug of forgetfulness. I know there is stuff to remember, but I just can't figure out what it is I am forgetting.  The extra testing kit?  Buying more Super Cs? Changing the needles on the pens?  Luckily most of that has become habit now, and the things I forget are less important...like where I left my glasses or how many cups of tea I have consumed...

Sneezy:  Do you also sneeze when you are tired?  It seems to be quite common.  TD takes Allergex nightly to alleviate the symptons....if she forgets, her eyes water, her throat itches and she sneezes.

Bashful:  There are only a few situations where TD prefers not to inject insulin in public spaces.  Mostly she has this Bashful thing under control.  Of course, dresses, dungarees and other clothing that make injecting into the stomach for fast acting insulin impossible, are a problem, and TD excuses herself to inject.  (Never inject through clothing, in case micro fibres are pushed under the skin, leading to possible infection....)

Doc:  Every T1 family's favourite of the Dwarfs.  It is so important to have a good medical team to partner with.  TD has great people on her help list : the endocrinologist is great, the GP is wonderful and most other medical practitioners are kind and understanding.  Quite frankly, if they are not, it is time to move on.  Trust is a huge Doc issue.  We have been very fortunate in the people who help TD.

Happy: Sometimes the challenges are overwhelming, but it is important to allow ourselves to be Happy.  Not all the time, obviously.  Adversity is a great teacher, but happiness is a state that I need around me.  I am happy to be able to share my life with the people I love.  I am not happy that TD has diabetes, but I am happy that she is TD, and that seems to include diabetes, so that is just how we roll.

Fairy tales are flawed.  Snow White is not a particularly positive role model for children today.  I reread the story to refresh the details in my mind, and the whole beauty fixation/role of females/ being saved by a handsome prince  sticks in the throat a lot.  But, seeing as we are all flawed too, perhaps it is important to retell these tales to our children and embrace the notion of happy ever after.  Stories give us a chance to explore villains and heroes, right and wrong, real and fantastic.  The 7 dwarfs are an odd bunch, but rather relatable don't you think!

The Seven Diabetic Dwarfs