2020 is being stubbornly relentless. No one knew how things would pan out when Covid 19 hit the world, and it has been a long, tough season of readjustment. Some people predicted it would come and go, and life would return to what it had been. Others suspected it would be a long term, on-going change to our way of life. Most people are just taking it in small chunks, because that makes it all manageable. I think it is the uncertainty that can be the most stressful - the social, economic and personal unsettling cause tensions to rise.
And just when you think you might be getting the hang of whatever is going on, things change again, and new regulations are promulgated and safety precautions are suggested.
You know all this, because you are living through it.
But
everything I have written above is just what a Type 1 diabetes
diagnosis feels like - stubbornly relentless, a huge readjustment, a
hope it will go away, acceptance that this is for life, and managing it
in small bites. Covid 19 had a familiar feel to it for our household.
It takes time to adjust to living with a chronic illness, and just when you think you are getting a handle on it all, things change. TD does an amazing job of navigating the course.
Lock down has given people a chance to try new things, or catch up on some chores . I eventually made Banana Bread. TD tidied her room. It was like an archaeological dig in some places, and she uncovered lost mementos and buried treasure. This included two tubes of henna bought in Sedgefield many months ago. I watched in fascination as she beautifully scripted some words on her wrist, in characters I could not decipher. It was, apparently, Elvish, Tolkien's made up language from the Lord of the Rings.
When she offered her calligraphy skills to decorate my wrist, I was delighted. Here is what I chose to have hennaed on my wrist:
For those of you whose Elvish is a little rusty, it says Serenity and Courage. I think those two concepts are helpful when dealing with everything that is thrown at us - the big and the little stuff, the permanent and the transient. Covid and diabetes.
Tolkien's writings are full of wisdom and advice. One of TD's favourite quotes is "Not all those who wander are lost." I love the idea of purposeful wandering, or even purposeless wandering. It is calming and leads to creativity.
The Tolkien quote most appropriate during a pandemic might be:
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
Live courageously, Find serenity. Decide wisely how you want to live. Wander aimlessly for a while....
