Siblings and thankfulness

Today I have changed the information on my profile!  Twice a year I will need to update the ages of my children, and today is TD's brother's birthday.  He is 23.  And for the first time he is celebrating away from home, as he is in the UK studying for his Masters in Mathematics at Cambridge University.  His level of intellect, determination and ability blow me away.  Mothering my children has been (and continues to be) the utmost privilege of my life.  There is a large age gap between the two of them - for complicated reasons that involve miscarriages and failed fertility treatments and years of longing and angst (enough to fill another blog).  I am forever grateful that I am the mother of these two incredible beings.

The relationship between siblings has interesting dynamics.  Our son has always been protective of TD, sometimes even more of a parent than brother.  This is probably because he is 9 years older than her, and also has to do with his gentle, caring personality.  When she was diagnosed with T1, he and Andrew were away and had to make a midnight dash to be by her bedside in intensive care. He was calm and helpful, and when she was in the ward he helped by patiently spooning mouthfuls of food into her when she was having trouble swallowing the hospital fare.  He told her funny stories, encouraged her, and made sure she had suitable movies to watch on a laptop (The TV in the paediatric ward only offered Barney, Noddy and other such programmes: a bit infra dig for TD's tastes).

The biggest gift he gave her at this stage is, I think, the solid knowledge that TD would be able to take care of her own diabetes.  He believed in her, and told her so. He has always looked at diabetes as a learning challenge for TD, and one that she is more than capable of handling.   

I know there is a cost to him.  Diabetes has meant a lot of time and worry has had to be directed in TD's direction.  I realise he worries about her, and probably us.  It has landed an extra layer of gravity to our family life.  I also know they love each other dearly and now that they live so far apart, they miss each other too.  That is not to say they don't get on each other's nerves at times, and the age gap is quite pronounced at this time, as they are at such different stages in their lives.

Updating a status is a good time for reflection.  I am glad I will need to do it regularly, because I too change, and I would like the information to reflect that. Today I am thinking about cohesion, cake,  individuality and community, birthday celebrations and the power of family. I have so much to be thankful for.

Warriors and Worriers

It is exam time in TD-land.  These exams are the final hurdles in her first year of high school.  It has been a whirlwind of new experiences, new friendships, new subjects.  And a few challenges along the way.

Exam times are pretty gloomy in most households.  There is a heaviness of responsibility, a curbing of free time and even a little social distance as all her classmates creep into their study corners and either study or wait for the three weeks to go by.  Feelings get frayed, tensions escalate.  Glucose levels soar.  If you need confirmation of the stress exams cause to teenagers, have a look at a person with diabetes exam glucose readings. Most exam times, TD gets sick.  This week was no different.  She has been running a temperature, is sleeping badly, and feeling excessively tired.  High glucose numbers can do that to a person.

Hyperglycaemia (too much sugar in the blood) shows itself in blurry eyesight, difficulty in concentrating, tiredness, apathy and irritable behaviour. All of this adds up to stressful exam periods, and of course, the stress causes the glucose levels to rise and so the loop closes.  Tight glucose control is even more important in stressful times so that things don't spiral out of control.

So, in the study breaks, we watch mindless TV shows, go for walks, and TD reads thick books.  She is currently reading the  Magnus Chase series by Rick Riordan.  It uses Norse mythology as a backdrop for page turning adventures of the heroines and warriors.  When we were chatting yesterday, TD used Warrior as her Word Of The Day.  But I misheard - at first I thought she had said "Worrier."

And all of a sudden I had a moment of clarity:  TD is the Warrior, fighting and winning the diabetes battle, and I am the Worrier, the person who is concerned about things going pear shaped.  And that is how it should be - my job is to keep a safe environment for TD to live her life, and her job is to be the heroine in her own story.

Hyperglycaemia is often more difficult to detect than hypoglycaemia.  There is no shaking or paleness.  And the symptoms of hyper all too often look the same as the symptoms of being a teenager. (!)  Water helps to wash the glucose out of the system, and if needed, TD injects some insulin.  It is a constant balancing act to make sure the numbers are neither too high nor too low.

 

I hope whatever examinations or tests or stresses you are facing at the moment are manageable.  I hope your life's balancing act is holding steady. When things get a bit unbalanced around here, I remind myself to keep looking forward, chin up and to always have a safety net! Worriers are warriors too!